


Vulnerable

by nannyslf



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-21 04:36:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2454959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nannyslf/pseuds/nannyslf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Au Highschool clique where Harry and Niall are nerds and Louis and Zayn are popular. They all share a gym class and semi-bullying/teasing ensues and Zayn catches glimpses of Harry changing, somehow leads to a secret relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulnerable

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AWriterIAm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWriterIAm/gifts).



> I hope y'all like it (especially AWriterIAm), I tried to fill the prompt as well as I could. Any comments are welcomed! I apologize for the mistakes, english is not my first language, but I gave this a fair try. Also, a massive thank you to the person responsible for this exchange, who despite all my shit did not give up on this story.  
> This also goes to my friend Amanda, I would probably have given up if you didn't cheer me on. <3

_“And it if feels like it’s right, then it can’t be wrong. No one understands the chemistry we have and it came out of nowhere. It’s not like we planned this, it’s getting out of hand and now we’re gonna go there.” – Mrs. All American, 5 Seconds of Summer_

Harry hated high school for many of reasons. Many, many reasons. People were shallow, vain, and usually, pretty much lost. But he wasn’t like that, he knew himself pretty well for as long as he could remember and being teased about it wasn’t funny in the slightest. The problem with teenagers is that their lack of self-knowledge often drives them to hate or pick on anyone who is different or comfortable with themselves. Harry liked to think that he was very self-assured, but at 17 years old, how much can you really know?

Being the number one student in his grade, he would say you can know a lot.

One of the things he knew for sure was that hated Zayn Malik. Yes, Zayn Malik, the coolest kid in town, number one golden boy of the small city of Weymouth (population of 52,323). He had everything: the looks, the charm and the money. With his cool leather jacket and killer smile, all the girls wanted to fuck him and all the boys wanted to be him. It was ridiculous. In Harry’s mind, he saw Zayn as movie cliché. A very good looking cliché, though.

“Harry, are you listening to me?” Niall asked while adjusting his glasses.

Harry sighed, he always seemed to lose contact with reality from time to time, and it was spontaneous. One minute he was intently listening to whatever Niall was babbling about (food mostly) and the next he was staring at something with a vague, but intense look on his face. He realized a bit late that the something he was staring at, however, was rather someone. Zayn Malik. Instantly, he turned to Niall.

“Sorry, what?”

“Why do you always do this? Jesus, I’m talking to you!” He complained, still struggling with the glasses.

“I don’t know why you wear them if you are going to fidget so much about it.”

Harry pointed, glaring at him. “Just put in some damn lens, Niall.”

“I already bought it and I like it, leave me alone. Also, very clever, but don’t change the subject. You need to pay more attention to people when they talk to you, Haz.”

It wasn’t not the first time they have that discussion, probably wouldn’t be the last. But Harry was the kind of person who lived with one foot in reality and the other on dream world; it was very hard for him to care about other people’s opinion. That was why he went to school every day in knitted vests, old school ray-ban glasses and khaki pants, the typical weirdo. But he liked to think that there was something bold about him, because it really took a lot of courage to be himself despite everyone’s prejudice and judgment. Harry figured that if he were going to be a part of this world, then he would only do it by being true to himself. What was the point in navigating reality if you weren’t going to do it as whom you truly were? These were the kind of things he was constantly worrying about.

“I will. I promise. We should go now, I have AP math.” He replied while picking up his tray.

“Ok, nerd.” Niall joked back.

+

The thing people needed to know about West Coast High was that the hallway traffic was brutal, teenagers by the hundreds pushing into each other constantly, so when Harry bumped into someone, it was definitely an accident.

“Watch out, Dorky Styles,” Louis Tomlinson barked, giving him a cold stare.

“Really Louis? That’s very original, congratulations,” Harry responded sarcastically. He never really liked Louis; one of the main reasons for it was that the other lad couldn’t seem to leave him alone. Louis was one of those guys who always thought of themselves as the smartest in the room, when really he was just an asshole.

Louis looked at him annoyed, his cheeks getting a bit pinker by embarrassment. He wasn’t really used to people talking back to him, not when he was the captain of the football team and one of the school’s most wanted. Harry didn’t have a single bit of respect for him.

“Lou, I don’t know why you are wasting your time with this nobody. Let’s go.”

Harry gazed in shock at the boy who suddenly appeared next to Louis. It was Zayn in all his 5 foot 9 glory. As usual, he was breaking the school’s dress code by refusing to wear the official blazer, using his leather jacket instead. The rips in skinny black jeans were outrageous and his black quiff with a blond strike in the middle of it called attention wherever he went. Zayn was one of these people who were always completely cool about everything. Unlike the rest of them, he seemed to have everything figured out to a point where nothing seemed to ever bother him. The true definition of cool and collected, if you looked at the dictionary.

“You’re right, my time is too precious to be wasted on this loser.” Louis agreed and walked away with Zayn in toe.

It was no surprise for Harry that Zayn considered him a nobody, after all no one in the school gave him the least bit of attention. However, seeing him talk like that felt as if he was being punched in the stomach. It was just that no matter what he told himself, it always hurt to see how utterly unimportant everyone saw him to be. But, he would grow out of that someday, Harry thought. He had to.

+

“Are you ready for gym?” Niall asked on chirpy note. It was Monday, Harry’s least favorite day of the week and he felt particularly annoyed that day.

“Of course I’m not, you twat.”

“Jesus, chill. Maybe you’ll just do laps today.” Niall replied trying to comfort him with a pat on the back.

“How is that supposed to make me feel better? I hate running,” he retorted with a glare. Usually, he was way more kind to Niall, but seeing him so excited over gym class on a freaking Monday, at 9 am was more than he could handle. That day was already turning out to be the worst, his mom forgot to leave him lunch money and the waiter at the Starbucks messed up his order, so there was no caffeine in his system to get through this nightmare. Harry sighed. Sometimes he wished Niall could be as miserable as he was.

“Hazza, once the hormones from working out pump into your blood, you’ll feel better.” The soothing in Niall’s voice made Harry crawl out of his skin then.

“You are only making this worse, ok? Those hormones never, ever did anything for me and I just want to go home and sleep. Running and having Louis Tomlinson mock me while Zayn looks at me like I’m the scum of the Earth is going to be the worst, Niall, the fucking worst, ok? Now, could you shut up so we can get over this?”

Niall’s face scrunched up then. “This isn’t about gym, is it? This is about Louis, or more importantly, Zayn.”

Harry turned to face him as they went through the gymnasium wooden doors. Given that West Coast High was the best public school (that accepted private investment) around, they had a pretty decent structure: all equipped with the best of what money could afford (thanks to some parents’ generous donations). An ambient designed to make the students comfortable, the ceiling made of hard glass that filtered the morning light to a soft glow and the floors polished. It was amazing how a place that looked so good could provoke such nausea.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, his angelic face contorted in a frown.

“Well, you clearly have some feelings for Zayn and maybe you hate the gym so much because of the things Louis says to you in front of him. Maybe, you don’t want him to hear them, to see you the same way Louis does.”

“Where the fuck did that came from?” He gasped, unable to hold the swear. He did not like to use bad words, but Niall was being so delusional that Harry couldn’t help it.

“What?” Niall didn’t understand his reaction at all. “Harry, have you noticed how much time you spend staring at Zayn? Or blushing when he looks at you, even for a second?”

“I do not blush. Also, Zayn is a twat. I do not know what you are on about.”

Naturally, given Harry’s incredible luck, Zayn passed by them on the second he called him twat. Terrified he turned to Niall wanting to ask if he thought Zayn had heard them, but from the alarmed look from his best friend’s eyes, he got his answer.

Harry shut his eyes and hid his face between his hands. _Why did Mondays have to be so bad?_

+

As he expected, gym was terrible. They played dodge ball and Louis took Harry out with a mean throw that hurt his arm. He also mocked him merciless, which made Harry resolute to act as if he didn’t care about it in the slightest. Louis could be an asshole if he wanted, but Harry was not going to give him the pleasure to see how bothered it made him.

At the end of the class, all the boys went for the shower, but Harry stayed back. He and Niall had an agreement where he would wait around to shower by himself after everybody left while the latter got them a table in the cafeteria for lunch.

Undressing in public made him extremely uncomfortable and the thought of doing it in front of Louis Tomlinson was terrifying. To avoid going with the rest of his classmates, he helped the teacher organize things. Mrs. Coleman was nice and she liked the company. They would always chat about the specials both have watched on Discovery Channel over the weekend and then have heated discussions about the animal world or astronomy, as it turned out, Mrs. Coleman had very strong and witty opinions about everything.

After helping Mrs. Coleman set up the room for the next period, Harry headed to the locker room. Before he could push those wide doors to get in, however, someone came out. As he looked up to see who it was, Zayn Malik’s piercing eyes met his. Harry was startled for a moment. Zayn had those big doe eyes that were so similar to the black holes in outer space, the ones he watched specials about. And he imagined that the feeling that came from staring at them was the same you would probably feel as you fell into those dark bodies, being pulled by that magnetic force and having your balance sucked away from you along with your existence. Harry barely felt alive at that moment. At the same time, he felt empowered by everything, painfully aware of his own raced pulse and every freckle in Zayn’s orbs and it was too much and still not enough.

Zayn then shrugged, finishing the staring contest between them and then walked away. Harry let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

+

“I don’t like Zayn Malik and it offends me that you would assume that.” Harry declared as he sat down next to Niall on the cafeteria.

Niall looked at him surprised, he was mid chewing a burger bite when Harry suddenly plopped down in front of him in this fit of rage, holding a tray of goodies. Before answering, Niall eyed the food brought by his friend, trying to decide if there was anything worth stealing. He sighed, as always, it didn’t. Harry was one of those healthy freaks that only ate fruit salad and yogurt for lunch. It was deeply disturbing, in his opinion.

“Mate, chill. If you say you don’t like him, then you don’t. Also, if you did I wouldn’t judge you, I mean the bloke is fit and all that. Still, I think is worth noticing that for someone who is so dismissive of this possibility, you are awful incredibly fussed by it. Why is that?”

Harry sighed and looked away from Niall, focusing on the wall behind him. Sometimes he hated how perceptive his friend could be. Looking around, he tried to stall his answer. The cafeteria in West Coast High was large and filled with teenagers chattering loudly. Despite its age (the school was probably a hundred years old or more), the place was well preserved, the walls painted of a soft cream color, longs windows all over facing the yard and instead of the scattered square tables, and round ones made of dark wood. Harry loved the aesthetics of it; the high ceilings that made him feel free with lots of space to breathe and the nice hardwood floors. It was one of his favorite rooms in the school.

“Harry, have you spaced out again? I asked you a question.” Niall whined.

“I’m sorry. Look, I’m not fussed about it, ok? But, if you think that I’m into someone like Zayn Malik, then what does that say about me? He treats me like shit, Niall.” Harry countered, closing his eyes in frustration.

“Haz, I don’t think that the fact that you might be interested in him means that there’s something wrong with you. And he doesn’t treat you like shit, Louis does.”

“Well then,” Harry bitterly smirked. “I’m definitely fine about it now. Because you know, he doesn’t treat me like shit. You’re right. He treats me like I’m nothing, which is certainly better.”

“I can’t win with you, can I?” Niall asked in a frown.

Harry smiled then, his green eyes glistening under the morning sunrays. “Nope. I thought you already knew that.”

+

Saturdays were great. Harry loved to stay in bed a little longer, and then wake up to a nice breakfast made by his mum with all of his favorites and also getting the weekly call from Gemma, his big sister who was in college, living the dream in London. Every time they spoke she would tell him stories of the great adventures with her new friends and all the things she had been doing by herself, everything filled with excitement, a roller coaster of emotions he couldn’t be able to grasp if it wasn’t for her. In some twisted way, it was like he was living through her. Kind of sad, but Harry didn’t mind.

On that particular Saturday, Gemma told him about this bad boy she dated that brought her along to his boxing fight. It was a mad story, he laughed as she narrated her struggles in the middle of a crowd that was twice her size in length and width, every single one of them screaming in cheers or rage, spit coming from their mouths like rain. When she asked what was new with him, Harry fell into an ashamed silence. He wished he could be as adventurous as Gemma, but for every outgoing aspect of her, Harry countered with a shy one. So, there was no news to tell. For a second, he considered telling her about Zayn, his black hole like eyes and the way he made Harry feel like falling ceaselessly into a bottomless precipice. But he didn’t, because that would be stupid. His answer was a sigh followed by a tale of his struggles with his English paper.

Later that day, Harry called Niall up so they could meet. Usually, they would go to the movies and then grab a bite to eat, but after talking to Gemma, Harry wanted to do something bold, out of his comfort zone for once. So, he told Niall to meet him at the Digger’s Gold, the local pub, for a pint.

The Digger’s Gold was the local place for the teenagers around town. Cheap enough to get everybody drunk on their beers with a plus of not carding the kids. Anyone that wanted to engage in the social scene on a Saturday night was there and that was precisely why Harry hated it so much. Niall was always bugging him to go there so they could get fabulously drunk together. However, the mere thought of going there and seeing everyone who made him so uncomfortable at school was too terrifying. Harry didn’t dare, until that night.

At eight o’clock, the place was already buzzing with teens talking up and singing to whatever played on the speakers. It took a minute for him to recognize ‘Pursuit of Happiness’ by Kid Cudi, one of Niall’s favorite songs. As he looked around for a place to seat and wait for the ever-late Niall, he spotted some familiar faces, Amanda Leehum from his AP English along with her preppy clique were at the bar drinking what Harry was pretty sure was not a virgin cocktail and next to the stage was Liam Payne and the drama club kids laughing and dancing. Harry envied them, if he only could get out there. Well, tonight he would let the alcohol help him.

He was on his first sip of beer when Niall finally showed, something like half an hour later.

“Can’t you ever be on time?” Harry asked with a frown. The beer was cold, wrapped around his fingers and the sweat from the bottle made them sticky, but he didn’t mind.

“I think you know the answer to that question,” Niall replied with a cheeky grin.

Harry sighed. “Go get your beer on the counter.”

The thing about the Digger’s Cold was that they didn’t have any waiters, only people on the bar who would give you the drinks when you ordered or more precisely, yelled them. It was the number one reason why it was so chaotic, but also profited more than any of their competitors. Harry could not understand how they made it work, but it did.

Niall went out for a minute and soon got back with two tequila shots. “Hazza, today you are giving me the honor of doing your first shot ever in my company!”

Harry groaned. It was one thing to drink beer, not the he loved it, but it was okay at least. Tequila was a whole other business Harry really didn’t want to get into.

“I don’t know, Ni…”

“C’mon Hazza, live it up!” Niall yelled before handing him the shot. Harry glared at it for a second before taking it.

“So, are we doing this then? You know I don’t have your Irish capability to hold on to liquor,” Harry said before pouting.

“This is not what this is about, Haz. Tonight is about going crazy, right? So let’s!”

Harry eyed him a little eerily before lifting up his hand. Niall grinned in response while pouring salt onto both of their hands.

They sucked on the lemon and with a frown, Harry toasted, “To getting wild on a Saturday night!”

Niall nodded gleefully and then proceeded to suck on the lemon, lick the salt and drink the shot. Harry did the same but their reactions were extremely different, while the first one rubbed his hands in excitement, the latter winced.

“Oh God, I hate drinking.”

With a fond smile Niall said, “It’s okay darling, you’ll grow to love it.”

+

Three shots later, and Harry had begun to think that maybe Niall had a point, maybe drinking was fun, it certainly made everything better. The music sounded more intense and everyone looked nicer, prettier. And there was also a nice buzz inside his head making him feel so fine. He was ready to talk to people.

“Niall, let’s talk the world!” He yelled to a pink-faced Niall, who giggled at everything.

They went around the pub, talking to people and even flirting (only Niall was doing the flirting part. Harry was drunk, but not that drunk.). He spent a while discussing the perks of hitting on a teacher with Amanda Lehuum and it was the craziest chat he had in his life while Niall charmed her friend. Then, he left them to talk to Liam Payne. Harry had always liked him, but felt too shy to say it. It was surprising how fast they got to talking once he was over his shyness. Liam was funny and kind and Harry really wanted to ask him to be his best friend, but thankfully, he managed to control himself.

When they were in the middle of an excited conversation about their favorite TV characters, the pub’s manager got into the stage and started talking:

“Goodnight, mates! Are you ready for Open Mic Saturday?”

The crowd cheered loudly, Open Mic Saturday was basically an event where after midnight anyone who wanted to show their musical talents on stage after midnight were more than welcomed to.

“So our first applicants is…” The manager paused to build up some suspense before shouting, “Niall Horan!”

Harry was shocked, Niall didn’t say anything about singing, but then again they haven’t spoke in maybe an hour or more. As he watched in excitement, Niall got up on the stage and greeted the crowd. He got some excited screams in response. A second later, the first notes of ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’ started blasting through the speakers and Niall’s strong voice sang along. It was amazing seeing him open up like that and he sounded so great, at least to Harry.

He was worried people wouldn’t like it, but they all started clapping and singing along. Harry smiled, because Niall was living his fantasy.

Halfway through the song, Harry started feeling nauseous; there were just too many people and he felt hot all over, and not the good kind either. Taking a deep breath, he started pushing his way out of the pub, desperate for some fresh air. It took him a while; everybody was drunk and glued to each other, like a giant mess. But Harry got out.

The chilly autumn breeze welcomed him, it was one of those nights where he could smell the distinct salt-water fragrance in the air and it grounded him. One of the many reasons why he loved living in Weymouth was the sea, because it always calmed Harry. However, as drunk as he was, he needed to sit down. Looking around dizzily, Harry decided to just sit on the on the sidewalk. As he lowered himself, the nausea got worse. Sighing in misery, he put his head between his knees and started to take deep breaths.

Harry Styles refused to be one of those drunks who puked their lungs out.

After what felt like forever, he raised his head again. There was someone coming out of the pub’s door, Harry turned to see in hopes of it being Niall.

He was wrong. It was not Niall. Better yet, it was Zayn! And he looked so good; so damn good in his skinny black jeans and red tee that framed his muscles. Harry sighed in awe. His mind on a loop of: _Zayn. Zayn… “Zayn…”_

“What?” Zayn looked down surprised to see Harry sitting on the curb.

“What?” Harry retorted, his green eyes popping in genuine wonder.

“You just said my name,” The boy told him, eyes squinting in what seemed to be mistrust.

“I did?” Harry was shocked, his pink lips opening an “o” shape. Zayn sighed then, seeming to have reached a conclusion.

“Are you drunk, Harry?”

“You know my name?” Ok. That was it. Harry was dreaming, he was sure of it. How in the world would Zayn Malik ever know his name?

Zayn eyed him seeming critical and…fond? Was that fondness Harry was seeing?

“Of course I know your name, we have been studying together for three years…”

“And yet you told Louis I’m a nobody,” Harry pointed out. It hurt then, and it still hurt now. He looked away from Zayn.

They were silent for a while.

“You haven’t answered my question. Are you drunk?”

“I’m...” Harry stopped mid answer. Zayn continued to wait for an answer, but Harry just stared at the ground.

“You’re what?”

“What?”

“I asked you if were a drunk and you stopped in the middle of your reply.” Zayn explained with a frown.

Harry laughed. “I’m not not drunk.”

Zayn sighed in desperation. “Someone needs to get you home before you do something really stupid.”

Harry let his head fall to the side and gazed at Zayn through his lashes. Under the soft street lamplights, his already golden skin seemed to glow in a soft seductive way. Harry licked his lips. Zayn was so, well for lack of better word, so yummy. He reminded him of summer, honey and butterscotch, a few of Harry’s favorite things in the world.

“Harry, have you spaced out again?”

The green-eyed boy looked offended. “I didn’t space out! I’m hungry and tired and a bit dizzy. Where’s Niall?”

“I’m pretty sure he was snogging some girl in the men’s toilets.”

“Yes!” Harry yelled happily.

“Fuck, don’t randomly start screaming.” Zayn hissed.

“Sorry. I’m just glad Niall could shove his tongue in someone else’s throat, I mean, of us had to do it.”

“And you didn’t want it to be you?”

“What?”

“You didn’t want to be the one who gets to kiss someone?”

“Unfortunately, Zayn Malik, I’m not very kissable tonight. Or ever. But it is what it is.”

Zayn was taken aback by Harry’s answer. “You know what, I’ll drive you. Let’s get you home, Styles.”

Harry clapped excited. “Ok.” He tried to get up, but his coordination was worse than ever and Harry always thought that to be impossible, really. He was already the clumsiest person in the world, basically.

“Let me help you.” Zayn offered his hand. When their fingers touched, Harry closed his eyes and let a little smile escape his lips. This felt right.

+

As the richest of all rich kids in school, naturally, Zayn drove an outrageously expensive Range Rover.

“This car is too high, I don’t think I can get in!” Harry complained like a child, eyeing the car a bit terrified.

Zayn laughed. “Don’t be a baby, I’ll help you.” He opened the door for Harry and gave him support as he climbed onto the passenger seat. Then he went around and got into his side of the car.

After Harry buckled himself (he was drunk, not stupid), Zayn drove off.

“So, where do you live?

“Harbor Avenue, number 27. My mom had me memorize it when I was 7. Yay, it rhymed! ” Harry told him proudly. Zayn smirked in response. “Do you find me silly?” Harry asked while messing with the buttons on Zayn’s radio.

“I find you drunk.”

Ignoring Zayn’s answer, he said, “Well, I’ll have you know I’m not silly. I have one of the highest GPA’s in our grade.”

“I already got that from your khaki pants and knitted sweaters, don’t worry.”

“Are you mocking me?” Harry gasped.

Zayn chuckled. “For someone so smart, you certainly are having a hard time telling when someone’s messing with you or even turning the radio on. Just click on the red button, ok?”

Harry huffed, indignant, but did as he was told. Soon the speakers were blasting Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe.’ “I like this song.” Harry said before humming along.

“Really?” Zayn asked surprise. “I never pegged you for one to like rap.”

“But I do. People are always more than what they appear.”

Zayn gave him a genuine smile and Harry felt his insides were twisted. He was, without a doubt, going to kill Niall on the next morning. First for getting him drunk and then for poisoning his thoughts with Zayn Malik.

“So, why did you decide to get drunk tonight?”

“Do I need a reason to get drunk?” Harry inquired, his left eyebrow rising in question.

“Well, no…” Zayn smirked. “But it’s preferable to have one.”

Harry remained silent for a while, thinking about his answer. The song on the radio changed to Marvin’s Room. “I guess I wanted to do something bold.”

Zayn glanced at him, a bit incredulous. “So you decided to get drunk?”

“Being drunk leads to doing bold things…”

“I can’t argue with that logic. Anyway, what’s so great about being bold?”

“You are bold! Last year when you performed at the Talent Show that was amazing.”

“You watched that?” Zayn asked, at loss for words.

“Of course I did! Everyone was there. I wanted to be that brave…” Harry pouted sadly.

“You are.”

“No, I’m not. I never take a chance on anything and sometimes it makes me feel like I’m…” Harry stopped. He didn’t know what to say and it was so weird that he was having this conversation with Zayn Malik of all people. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”

“It’s okay.” Zayn nodded and then turned up the radio, “Take Care” of Drake filling the silence between them.

+

Someone shook Harry. Once, then twice. He groaned annoyed, why couldn’t people just let him sleep?

“Harry, we’re here. Wake up!” Was that Zayn Malik’s voice? He opened his eyes scared. “Thank fuck, I thought I would have to take you to my house!”

Harry looked around alarmed. Where was he? What was going on?

“Ok, I can see now that you are scared. Take deep breath, you’re with me, Zayn, we go to the same school…”

“I know who you are, twat!” Harry interrupted, still freaking out. “I want to know how I got here!”

“I was trying to help, asshole. Anyway, I offered you a ride home at the pub, remember? You were very drunk and I didn’t want to just leave you there…”

Harry nodded, closing his eyes in hopes to remember. It took him a while, but some flashes came to him. “Oh, okay. I’m sorry. Thank you.”

Zayn smiled. “It’s cool. I guess this is your house, right?” He asked while gesturing to Harry’s side. Harry took a peak out of the window. It was. “Do you need help getting out?”

“No, I think I can manage that now.” Harry replied with a shy grin.

“Right.”

An awkward silence fell upon them. Harry didn’t know why, but this moment felt so much like the end of a first date and the couple doesn’t know what to do. He wanted to slap himself for thinking like that, because it was obvious that Zayn just wanted to help out the poor nerd, no romantic feelings involved. Anyway, that wasn’t the point. What mattered was that he got home safe and Zayn was the one to thank for that.

“You were really nice to do this and I know that you didn’t have to. Thank you very, very much.”

“It’s cool.” Zayn replied dismissively. “I was about to leave anyway, no harm in giving you a ride.”

Harry unbuckled and turned around to fully look at Zayn. When their eyes met, he felt something. It was like a riot was happening inside of him. He wanted to scream a little bit or hide. Or both. He wasn’t sure. It was scary. Like, when he was thirteen in the line of the rollercoaster in the Epcot Center. He looked at it knowing how awful it was going to be and yet he couldn’t move.

Looking at Zayn felt exactly the same.

“Goodnight, Zayn.” He mumbled, still unsure of everything.

“Goodnight, Harry.” Zayn replied, his gaze dropping for a second and landing on Harry’s lips.

The thought of Zayn Malik considering his lips was too much, even if just for a second. Panic rushed through Harry’s veins, as if his whole system shut down, adrenaline took control of his actions. He leaned forward and gave a quick peck on Zayn’s cheek and then practically jumped out of the car. As he raced to his house, he didn’t look back once and missed the shocked look on Zayn’s face.

Once he got home, he sighed heavily. Considering his track of clumsiness, he was really glad that he didn’t fall first on his face when he got out of that monstrous car. He also thanked God for not letting him do anything too stupid. Then again, kissing Zayn Malik on the cheek was not smart. Not at all. Oh well, nothing he could do about that now.

After throwing himself in bed without even getting out of his clothes, Harry closed his eyes and let his mind drift to sleep.

+

Hangover is as every bit as dreadful as television made it seem, Harry woke up with the world’s worst headache, feeling like waking up to a nightmare. As he tried to open his left eye, the pounding in his head got twice as hard. That was it; Harry was never ever going to drink again.

In all his 17 years of life, he would never guess himself to be in this typical dumb teenager situation. Not Harry that sit through all the health classes about the dangerous of underage drinking while most of his classmates skip them to probably, well, drink or cause mayhem somewhere. He sighed at his stupidity, listening to Niall usually made him regret everything.

As he closed his eyes once again, trying to remember how he got home safely, flashes came through his mind. Zayn Malik. Zayn Malik smirking, Zayn Malik helping him get into the car, Zayn Malik making uncomfortable question. Oh God, what did he do? Did he really make a fool of himself in front of the coolest guy in school? Why did life have to be so miserable?

School tomorrow was certainly going to be a joy.

Harry opened his eyes again, looked down at himself where yesterday’s clothes and decided to get a bath. Maybe it would help with the hangover.

30 minutes later he found out that it didn’t. But at least he felt fresh and less likely to kill himself out of embarrassment and pain and annoyance. Too many negatives feelings for one person.

His phone buzzed by the nightstand. Niall’s name flashed through the screen.

“You motherfucker!”

“Nice to talk to you, too.” Harry joked.

“You disappeared from the pub! I was worried sick about you.”

“I highly doubt that, superstar!”

Even though he wasn’t seeing his face, Harry knew that Niall was blushing. “You saw that huh?”

Harry laughed. “The whole pub did, mate! Anyway, I got home safe, that’s all that matters.”

“Yeah, well! Next time, don’t disappear on me, ok? Anyway, how did you get home?”

It was Harry’s turn to blush them. “W-we-well, you know what?” He stuttered nervously. “I gotta go help my mom now, we talk tomorrow yeah?”

“Ok man, bye.”

Harry hung up quickly.

+

To say that Niall freaked out when Harry told him about the Zayn story was an understatement. He yelped and sighed and squealed. Harry was a bit scared really, because Niall was usually so cool about everything.

“I just can’t believe this, I mean, Zayn?” He asked once again, blue eyes popping like he always does when in awe.

Harry nodded.

It was Monday morning and they were heading to gym class. Harry was crazy anxious about the fact that in a couple of moments, he would be seeing Zayn again after that unbelievable night. Niall freaking out next to him wasn’t helping the knots in Harry’s belly at all, if anything, it just seemed to make everything that much worse.

As they walked through the gym’s doors, Harry took a deep breath. He spotted Louis at first; laughing in that obnoxious way while a gorgeous, smiling, Zayn Malik leaned to his side. There were rumors that they were once together, as in a couple. Harry didn’t quite believe it, especially given that months later, Louis became hopelessly smitten with Eleanor Calder – school’s sweetheart – making it impossible to imagine he and Zayn being an item. But in moments like those, when they seemed to be so in sync, Harry did wander.

“What are you looking at loser?” Louis snapped taking Harry by surprise. He was so enraptured in his thoughts, that he didn’t see them turning his way.

Louis looked rude and annoying as usual. Zayn looked mysterious and sexy, nothing out of the normal, at least. Harry sighed and chose to ignore him. Deal with Louis would be just too much for him then.

Niall was there for him the whole class, it was rather nice. The teacher, for once, didn’t make them play any stupid games, just take laps around the court. Harry liked to run, made his mind go blank and he needed that. Sometimes he would glance at Zayn and he was acting as always, not recognizing Harry’s presence, and being insanely handsome while doing it.

When the bell finally ringed and they were dismissed, Harry stayed back as usual. There was not much to do, but he chatted with the teacher a bit. When it seemed that everyone was gone, he walked into the shower room and took off his clothes slowly. ‘Vulnerable’ by Tinashe was playing on a loop in his head and Harry started humming it distracted. So distracted that he fail to sense a presence watching him intently. When he turned around, only wearing his black boxers, he was faced with Zayn Malik with crossed arms and a…lustful gaze in his eyes?

“Zayn?” He whispered in shock. Harry looked around and there was nobody else there. The place so quiet that he was sure it was possible to hear their breathing.

Zayn remained silently, but not still. He was slowly walking towards Harry and it felt like the world just shifted on its axes. Harry couldn’t breathe or think, only feel the knots in his stomach grow impossibly tighter. What was going on? Why did he feel like everything was about to change drastically? He wanted to run and scream at the same time. However, all he could was watch Zayn move.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked while Zayn finished completely invading his personal space, their faces inches away.

“What do you think?” Zayn rested his hands in the sides of Harry’s face. They looked deeply into each other’s eyes and Harry felt an electric rush through his whole body. This was it. Before Zayn could get closer, he simply pulled him into a kiss. It was the type of kiss where teeth collide, filled with passion and anger and wonder.

He couldn’t seem to get enough, his tongue chasing Zayn’s after he got passage. There was such a violent feeling taking over them as they walked toward the wall and Zayn pushed Harry into it. His hands were everywhere, pressing into the younger boy’s waist possessively and into his shoulders. When they found their way to Harry’s curls, he tugged on them hard, making him expose his milky neck.

Zayn broke the kiss.

“What?” Harry whined, green eyes cloudy with desire. His brain was completely scattered and his notion of reality completely distorted. But he didn’t care; all he wanted was to kiss Zayn some more.

The hazel-eyed boy absorbed the view in front of him. Harry was flushed and panting in front of him, so vulnerable that made Zayn feel even hungrier for him. He attacked Harry’s exposed neck, sucking a big love bite into that perfect marble skin. Everything about that guy made Zayn want to ruin him deeply in unspeakable ways. He didn’t know where that necessity came from, but it was out of control.

Harry’s mind was clouded with lust that seemed to take over all of his body. Every touch of Zayn made him become a little bit more undone and he felt like at any moment he would combust. It was so surreal, the whole thing, and all he could do was mess Zayn’s perfectly fixed quiff (secretly Harry always wondered what would that feel like) and bite at his shoulder. Zayn was making him feel things Harry didn’t even know existed. His blood pumped intensely in his veins and it took all of him to not say, _Zayn, please._

Because, really, please what? He did not know.

From all the desperate wanting, Harry’s hands got out of control and began to wander through Zayn’s lower half, palming his jeans and finally trying to unbutton them. Instantly, Zayn hold both of his wrists in a tight grip. He stopped the trail of marks he was leaving in Harry’s collarbones and gazed him in a serious manner.

“I’ve been wanting to this for a while. After Saturday night, it was all I could think about.” Zayn said, his voice husky and seductive.

Harry stared at him wide-eyed, completely speechless.

Zayn let go of his wrists and took a step back. Then another. Harry wanted to say something, or more importantly, pull him back so they could continue that marvelous thing, but he was froze on the spot, trying to make out a sense of all of this. When Zayn finally turned around and walked away, Harry finally let a deep breath out.

_What the fuck just happened?_

+

It felt like he was crossing the street distractedly and a car hit him in full motion, Harry simply couldn’t grasp the notion of these past events. His mind was on a loop of Zayn, the way he touched him and the look on his eyes. And the words he said. How could any of that ever be real? It was Zayn Malik, best friend of Harry’s personal bully, school’s most wanted and probably the prettiest person that Harry has ever seen, and will ever see in his life. It just didn’t make sense.

In their lunch break, Harry seated in front of Niall and just stayed quiet while his friend babbled about the girl met on the pub.

“Bloody hell, Harry. You are not even pretending to listen anymore.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed rather unapologetic. Considering everything that had happened, he couldn’t feel anything other than astonishment.

“Are you okay? You look weird! Why are you wearing a scarf inside? It’s warm in here.”

Harry blushed. The scarf was a cover up for the two insanely evident marks Zayn left in his neck. “You know, I’m not feeling so good. Probably because of all of that drink from Saturday, so I’m just gonna head home.”

Niall was taken aback. Harry never, ever skipped class.

“But we have AP Chemistry, it’s your favorite!”

“Well, I’ll catch up on it later. I really need to go.” Harry stood up abruptly and walked away. Niall was left behind wondering why was his best friend so damn weird.

+

After getting a pass from the nurse (she loved Harry so it was easy), Harry went home. He ate, took another long shower and finally got into his beloved bed. His head was so chaotic and dazed, at the same time, that he took several deep breaths, trying to remember his yoga relaxing training from last summer’s camp.

Zayn kissed him. Or, more precisely, shoved him to a wall and fully made out with him. What did that mean? Well, first, that the bisexual theories were definitely correct. Second, that he probably was very much over his ex girlfriend, Perrie Edwards and finally, that he had some feelings for Harry. Not romantic feelings per say, but not the indifference and disgust either.

All those facts were very confusing. Harry found himself trying to piece all that happened since Saturday together, trying to make sense out of it, but there was none. He wasn’t particularly attractive that night, or ever, really. What could make Zayn act that way? Was it a prank? A dare? Harry was scared, but also excited.

This was the first time in his life that he did not know what was going to happen next. The first time he felt truly, completely and utterly wanted, even if just for a while. It was exciting and strange and Harry liked that. Even if he was confused, Harry figured that for better or for worse, he would follow the situation to the end. For every moment he felt like nothing was ever going to happen, he owned this a fair shot. And if nothing happened, then that would be fine too.

But Harry Styles was not going to shy away from the madness. Not anymore. At least once, he would be the reckless, stupid teenager.

+

AP English was always interesting. It was also the only other class Harry had with Zayn minus Louis. Tuesday’s mornings on the first period, he would sit in one of the many tables for two scattered around the room and listen to Mr. Adams talk endlessly about all the great English writers. It wasn’t the most thrilling class, but it wasn’t gym. So Harry considered it a win-win.

That particular morning was an extra win because Zayn Malik decided to sit by his side. Harry was buzzing with disbelief and excitement, but he managed to keep it cool. Zayn certainly looked very cool himself, not even casting him a second glance as he plopped down o the seat. He acted as if yesterday didn’t happen, as if was a product of Harry’s imagination.

Maybe it was. Harry was arguing internally with himself about it, when Zayn mumbled, “Hey.”

“Hi.” He whispered back nonchalantly.

They sat in silence for a while.

Harry occasionally tried to steal a look, wanting to absorb Zayn’s expression. He looked bored and distant as usual. Like everything in his class bored him, like he has seen the entire world had to offer and decided that it wasn’t good enough. Harry closed his eyes and sighed. Being into Zayn Malik was a bad idea.

“What are you doing tomorrow after class?” Zayn asked quietly as he played with his pen.

For a second, Harry thought he had misheard the question. Then, he looked around? Was Zayn really talking to him? Apparently, yes. “I don’t know, why?” It took him every single fiber of courage not to stutter.

“Nothing.”

More silence between them.

Harry wanted to look at Zayn again badly, but ultimately, he decided against it. He was not going to be the pathetic needy boy with a crush. He would not give this twisted universe the satisfaction.

“Do you wanna come over?”

Zayn looked straight ahead as he made the question. Harry turned to gaze at him, feeling completely shocked but hoping that his poker face did the trick. He really needed it to.

“To your house?”

“Yes.” Zayn huffed slightly.

Harry counted to ten inside his head. He wanted to take deep breaths too, but that would be weird. “Ok.”

It was Zayn’s turn to look shocked. He did the part well, even though he tried to quickly masquerade it with boredom. “Cool.”

Harry nodded. It was indeed very, very cool.

+

 _This is definitely something._ Harry thought as he gazed the gates to the Malik’s property. It was 4,000 square feet mansion, with brick walls and imposing columns. Harry took three laps around the block (filled with mansions, not one bigger than Zayn’s) until he decided to just go for it. He buzzed through the interphone, and fidgeted with his hands. If he counted to ten and Zayn didn’t pick up, he would go home.

He made it to five before a raspy voice said, “You can come in.”

Harry was startled; did they always let strangers in? When he looked up, there was a camera angled to face him. He sighed at his own stupidity; of course they had a security system. He was starting to feel very unsure of his decision.

The Malik’s garden was a sight to behold, ample green fields planted with the most beautiful flowers and stone path leading the way to the front door. Harry tried to take all in: the marble font shaped in Botticelli angels, the many wide windows of the house and the door knock that was shaped as a Lion’s head, all so sophisticated and strange.

Zayn Malik was the definition of the expression: a sight for sore eyes. Not that Harry’s eyes were sore at all, but seeing him was always breathtaking and wonderful at the same time. It made Harry want to blink multiple times at once, just to make sure that it was real. It was such a stupid feeling; he couldn’t help but kind of adore it.

“Hi.”

“Hey, Harry. Come in.” Zayn took a few steps back so Harry could get in too.

The inside of the house was every bit as marvelous and terrifying as the outside. The marble double stairs leading to the second floor were overwhelming, so the art on the walls. Paintings from the impressionist movement (Harry’s favorite) hung prettily and he had a crippling feeling that they were real. Fucking real.

This was probably too much. Harry was clearly way over his head with this whole Zayn deal and for a moment he decided to flee. But then, Zayn started talking again with a soft smile.

“Do you wanna a tour? Or do you want to seat down? You seem…” He paused seeming unsure of what to say next.

But Harry knew that he got it. Zayn got the way he was feeling, he understood. Somehow, that was enough for him. “I’m fine.” He answered with a smile. “What do you want to do?”

Zayn shrugged while giving it some thought. “I want to show you the garden.”

It was as much a garden as an ocean was a pond. The vast green field dotted with wild flowers and there was a beautiful swing set, a flawless gazebo with a dinner table under it and matching chairs. There was also a tennis court in the distance and a large pool surrounded by sun chairs.

“So this is where you live.” Harry stated in awe.

“Yes.”

Harry looked at him. Zayn seemed a bit unsure of himself, something he never saw before. “It’s really nice.”

“Thank you.”

They were standing by the gazebo, facing yet another angelic themed fountain.

“Why did ask me to come over?” Harry asked as he turned around to gaze at the sun.

“I don’t know…”

“Ok then.”

“Do you want to go back inside?”

“Yeah.”

The outside was beautiful and all, but all of this was making Harry a bit dizzy and confused. His house was nice and Niall’s was pretty cool too, but it was nothing even close to Zayn’s. And he wasn’t ashamed or jealous; he was just uncertain and overwhelmed. Why was he there? What did Zayn invited him over for? He was Harry Styles… Simply Harry. And Simply Harry didn’t have anything to bring to the table, not to the boy who already had everything.

The walked to the house and Zayn led him upstairs. There were multiple rooms and when he opened the door to the last one on the left, Harry knew it was Zayn’s bedroom.

Life was so weird. One moment you were in your room feeling like the biggest loser in the world and the other you were in this boy’s bedroom. This boy that gave him chills of excitement and chaos. Harry loved to be alive.

Zayn’s room was pretty normal, freakishly big of course, but it wasn’t extraordinary. Harry kind of liked that. There was a big bookshelf stacked with comics and books, all in a neat order. Hanged in the walls were posters of bands like Run M.D.C and The Rolling Stones. In his desk there were portraits of Zayn in different ages and apparently different countries as well, the latest one was a picture of him and Louis half hugging with blue skies and ocean as a background. The Fiji trip, everyone in school heard about that one.

Harry went to look over the discos and vinyls, there was Beethoven and then Bruno Mars. Drake and Arctic Monkeys. Aretha Franklin and Beyoncé. Bach next to AC/DC.

You are so strange, Zayn Malik…” Harry commented as he casted him a glance.

Zayn opened a real smile, his tongue pressing against his cheek. “You think?”

Harry nodded.

“I know.”

+

Moonlight Sonata played on the background and Zayn and Harry seated side by side and the king size bed.

“You like classical music, it’s strange how I don’t find that weird.” Harry commented in a hush.

“You don’t?”

“No. You are the sort of person that the only thing that is certain about them is that they will surprise you. You surprising me is not a surprise itself.”

“That’s confusing, but I think I know what you mean.” Zayn retorted with a shy smile.

“I like it, though. I like that you are unexpected.”

“You think I’m unexpected?”

Harry looked at him, his green eyes soft in the sunlight. “You kissed me. I didn’t expect that.”

They looked into each other’s eyes for a while. Harry seemed to look for something. Zayn seemed to have found it. They kissed.

It was a soft kiss this time, Zayn’s long fingers caressing his face as their tongues entwined in a quiet passion. Harry’s hand soon found their way into Zayn’s back, his nails dragging along it as he made the older boy whimper. The warmness that emanated from his body was so soothing; Harry came to the conclusion that the world was better like this. Better when Zayn’s body was so close to him, that it made his mind dizzies, but his heart sharper.

They made out for some time, it definitely felt like forever, a good, weird kind of forever that made Harry flushed and panting and craving for more. Zayn was lazy this time, he didn’t attack, and he took Harry’s shirt in a calm manner while looking at him all the while, as if he was asking for permission. Then he kissed and bitted, and it felt so good. Nothing has ever felt this good before.

“Do you want to look at the stars?” He asked.

After they broke apart, Zayn changed the record and ‘I Wanna Be Yours’ by the Arctic Monkeys played softly in the background. Harry lied with head pressed against Zayn’s chest. He felt so calm and in place – a feeling of deep belonging. It should scare him, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything other than this strange kind of joy. The kind that didn’t demand any space, just quietly took over.

“Yes, but do we have to move to do it? Cause if so, then no.”

“No, lazy ass.” Then Zayn reached for a little remote on the bedside table and clicked on it. A skylight was revealed.

“Oh my God!” Harry exclaimed in a pure state of amazement.

The skylight was beautiful, facing them directly and exposing a nice bit of the dark starry night. One of the things Harry loved the most about living in a small town was that he could still see them clearly, no dark pollution covering their shine.

“It’s cool, isn’t it?”

“It’s beautiful, Zayn.” Harry turned his face to gaze at Zayn. “Why did you ask me here, Zayn?” He wandered again. Honestly, the more things happened, the less he understood.

Zayn looked down to him. His hazel eyes dotted with golden freckles that made Harry want to sigh in delight. “I wanted to be with you.”

Harry still didn’t understand. He wanted to know why. But pressing on the issue right now didn’t feel like a good idea.

“Are we going to do this publicly?”

Zayn looked scared then. “I don’t know… I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“I see.” Harry murmured quietly. Part of him was hurt, the other kind of glad. How he going to explain anyone about this when he couldn’t even understand it himself.

“It’s just that people are so…”

“I know what you mean.” Harry interrupted him. “It’s okay.”

Zayn smiled, this one smile that made Harry turn into mush inside. It was all soft and understanding, the way he always wanted someone to smile at him. Not someone, though. He knew then that he only wanted Zayn to smile at him like that.

+

Secret dating was fun. They were always hiding around, making out in empty classrooms and the locker room when no one was around. Harry felt bad for hiding it from Niall, but how could he begin to explain it? Every time he tried, the words got stuck around his throat and he just changed the subject. Niall was starting to get suspicious. A lot of the time they used to spend together, Harry started to spend with Zayn and it was not going unnoticed by him. Harry tried to make up excuses, but half of the time they were lame, he didn’t even buy it himself. It was worth it, though. It was really, fucking worth it.

Being with Zayn was amazing. Harry had never felt so alive before in his life. No matter what they did – swim around lazily on a Saturday morning or make out in the midnight session of some movie – it was always the greatest time. They would be up all night talking on the phone and getting to know Zayn was a constant surprise, a real gift that kept on giving. There were all these layers and Harry was both so anxious and so calm dealing with them. After a while, it started making sense. Every time Zayn held his hand, Harry understood more and more the sense they made together, every time he smile at him or kissed his cheek in that soft way he did whenever Harry seemed to amuse him.

“What are you thinking?” Zayn asked while petting Harry’s hair.

They were sprawled in Zayn’s bed after dinner. Harry told his mom that he’d sleep in Niall’s house. It was his second time sleeping there, the first one he was so nervous that Zayn had to tell him to take the deep breaths. They laughed afterwards.

Second time around was turning out much better. Harry brought homemade lasagna he cooked especially for Zayn; they watched a movie marathon of the X-men – causing Harry to remark, ‘I still can’t believe sometimes, Zayn Malik, the coolest guy in school is into comic books!’ Zayn had laughed. – And then they bought take out and goofed around. Just doing anything together was good; Harry didn’t feel tense at all.

“I’m just thinking about how happy you make me.”

Zayn smiled and pecked him on the cheek.

“It’s weird, isn’t it? I mean, you are Zayn Malik! How are we here now? Sometimes it just puzzles me…”

Harry adjusted himself so he could fully face Zayn. Like the first day he was there, the skylight was open and the soft moonlight lit Zayn’s features in the most poetic way.

“Harry, I’m not “Zayn Malik”. I’m… I’m not the perfect cool guy. I’m a person, a fucked up one at that. I’m unoriginal, weak and… not perfect. I just fake it, all the bullshit at school, Harry. I’m not better than you by any means, don’t idealize me.”

It was all so sudden, one second they were just talking and then Zayn snapped. Ever since they started dating, Zayn showed Harry a completely different side of him. There was kindness, witty and sensibility. But there was also fear, anger and the one the one that shocked Harry the most: self-loathing. Zayn had some serious problems with the way he viewed himself. It was like sometimes he was incapable of seeing the true value of himself.

“I’m not idealizing you. You are amazing, Zayn. I know you have your flaws; we all do, but still. I don’t think you can see how talented and good you really are. The way you are with me and the people you love, you have so much to give and it baffles me when you say things like that.”

“It’s like you have this idea of me that I can’t quite measure, you know? Like, everyone just seems me in this certain way and I’m not what they see. I pretend, but I’m not. I’m nervous; I’m shy and all that confidence, that is… I don’t know. I’m just good at fake it until you make it. And I don’t want you to see me like they do, like ‘flawless Zayn Malik, who’s ever going to deserve him?’ You deserve me, you are so great, Harry. You’re so gentle and true to yourself. I have never met someone so real in my whole life.”

Zayn took Harry’s face into his hand and kissed him deeply. In those moments, Harry never felt more close to another human being in his whole life. He wanted to make this feeling last, to taste and drown on it. He wanted Zayn completely and there was no turning back from it.

“I hope you know just how much I like you, Zayn. Not because of the money or the looks, but because of who you are. Your weird jokes, your taste for the most strange foods, I mean fries on bread?” Zayn laughed. “Your courage, if it wasn’t for you we wouldn’t be here at all! You are just out there. I love that, it makes me want be brave too. I… I hope you understand.”

Zayn gave him the smile. Harry’s heart warmed up and he leaned into him, pecking his lips, then his cheeks and finally his closed eyelids. Soft giggles escaped from Zayn.

“You really think my looks has nothing to do with your affection for me?” He asked in a teasing tone.

Harry huffed. “That’s all you got from that?” Harry replied pretending to be offended.

“Yeah that and that you looooove me.” Zayn mocked, making laugh and then push him a bit.

“You are so annoying, Jesus!”

“It’s okay, Styles. You’re kind of nice too; I don’t hate you or anything. Could like you more, but it is what it is.”

Zayn laughed out loud at Harry’s enraged expression.

“I hate you.” He mumbled while turning around so his back would face Zayn.

In moments like those Zayn felt an uncontrollable rush of affection for Harry. He has dated a lot of people and cared for each one of them, but what he felt for the green-eyed boy was different. It was so intense and yet so still, like it was rooted inside the core of his being.

“That’s a shame, baby. Because I like you very much.” He said at the same time put his arm around Harry’s waist, spooning him. His face rested on the crook of the younger boy’s neck and he breathed in his scent deeply. “Very, very much.”

Harry closed his eyes and smiled.

“I like you, too.”

+

Making out secretly between classes was, well, all kinds of hot. Harry never thought he would be the horny teenager sneaking around in empty rooms to smooch the fuck out of his boyfriend. But there he was in the empty locker room, his hand shoved into Zayn’s boxers while the older lad panted and bit hard on his shoulder. There were definitely going to be some bruises tomorrow.

“Harry… I’m gonna…” Zayn couldn’t even finish the sentence. The waves of heat came over him, the hot twirling deep inside his stomach as he could feel himself transcending from this. Being with Harry was a constant experience of coming harder than you did before. He was becoming addicted to the feeling.

Harry kissed Zayn hard to stop him from moaning loud. “It’s okay babe, come for me.”

Zayn did, violently shuddering all the way. Harry smiled satisfied. It always amazed him just how good he could make Zayn feel.

“I’ll need to shower again.” Zayn complained as he stared down to his boxers.

“Sorry babe.” Harry smiled deviously.

“You are not sorry at all, you little devil.” He accused as he nuzzled into Harry’s neck.

Harry giggled childishly. Zayn loved that sound. “You have to go, though; Niall must be looking for you.”

“Yes, Harry, Niall is looking for you.”

The couple froze on the spot. Niall Horan stood there with his arms crossed, as if he appeared out of thin air. His face was closed off in anger and his eyes were dead cold.

Zayn was the first to moved, disentangling himself from Harry and moving to his side. Harry was still immobilized, like a deer caught in the headlights. “Look Niall, this is very complicated…” Zayn started.

“Shut up, Zayn. So, this is what you’ve been doing then? Fucking around with Zayn Malik? Fuck Harry!”

Harry seemed to come to motion then. “I’m sorry, Niall! I should’ve told you!” He walked towards Niall, but the blond lad stopped him from get closer.

“You fucking should have, Harry. But you didn’t. Instead you’ve been lying to me for months, you asshole. I asked you back then if you liked Zayn, you said no! Oh my God Harry! I can’t fucking believe you.”

“Niall… I’m sorry. I…” Harry tried to reach him again. Niall put his arm between them.

“I’ve been your friend for most of my life, Harry. I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me. But, you know what? Whatever.”

Harry looked hurt. Zayn watched them from the distance, unsure of what to do.

“Niall, I couldn’t tell you, I was…”

Niall gazed at him, the disgust in his face.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” He turned around and walked away. Before he closed the door, he glanced at them one more time and said: Take a shower, Harry. You look…” He didn’t need to finish, Harry knew.

_You look disgusting._

+

Harry walked back and forth, as he waited for Zayn to get dressed.

“Harry, calm down, Niall will forgive you. He’s just mad.”

“It’s so easy for you to say that! Imagine if it was fucking Louis. I wonder how you would be acting,” Harry argued.

“Hey, I’m just trying to make you feel better,” Zayn said, buttoning his shirt.

“Really? Thank you.” The venom in Harry’s tone was impossible to miss.

“Why are you lashing out at me? I know this is tough, but it will be okay.”

“This is your fault, you know? I wanted to tell Niall!”

Zayn glared at Harry then. They never fought, so this angry energy between them was new. Harry had his nostrils flaring and the look on his face was hard as steel. “Don’t blame me for your mistakes.”

“You didn’t want me to tell anyone about us just because you are ashamed and you made me feel scared!”

“What? Are you really going to pull this on me? You are free to do whatever the hell you want, Harry.”

“Except talking about us because that would hurt you immaculate bad boy image, right?”

For a moment the world seemed to stop on its track. Zayn took a deep breath. “I gotta go, we’ll talk later.”

Harry huffed and chased Zayn as he turned his back. “Don’t walk away from me, Zayn!”

“This is for the best.” He said and slammed the door behind him.

Harry felt the tears in his eyes and he closed them in exhaustion.

+

_Niall, I’m really sorry. I know I broke your trust, but I hope you will forgive me._

Harry practiced the speech in his head, it has been two weeks and Niall has been giving him the cold shoulder relentlessly. So he decided to go over to his (hopefully still) best friend’s house with a container of homemade lasagna (Niall’s favorite) and beg for forgiveness.

It was Mrs. Horan who opened the door, her gentle smile ever so present. She has always liked Harry, kept telling Niall to keep this one close because he was a friend for life. Harry wanted to answer her expectations. He felt miserable for failing Niall.

“Harry, darling! Hello!” She exclaimed in a soothing tone.

“Hi, Mrs. Horan! Is Niall home?” He asked while gazing at the container in his hand.

“Yes dear, he’s upstairs. Come in.”

Harry loved the Horan’s house. He spent so much time there having sleepover with Niall, playing videogames hours into the night and cooking dinner with Mrs. Horan, it felt like it was his second home.

“Let me help you with this.” She said pointing to the lasagna.

Harry smiled thankfully as he handed it over to her. “It smells good, dear. Niall will love it.”

“I hope so.”

“Don’t worry Harry, whatever it is that made you guys fight, it’s not enough to break a beautiful friendship like yours. “

“You always know how to make me feel better.” He said grinning.

“Age comes with wisdom, darling. Now go talk to him.”

Harry nodded and then walked to the stairs. The knots in his stomach growing tighter with every step he took.

He knocked on the door.

“It’s open.”

The inside of Niall’s room was nice, he had a porch, so it was always beautifully lit and his walls were filled with the coolest posters of famous cd covers, like Nirvana’s ‘It Smells Like Teen Spirit’. Harry loved it.

“Hi, Niall.”

“What are you doing here?” He asked. No friendly smile there.

“I came to talk… I brought some lasagna!” Harry replied in a mix of shame and hope.

Niall frowned. “So you are going with bribery?”

“No, I just want to apologize. I know I was in the wrong Niall, but you are my best friend. I hate not talking to you!” He said in a desperate tone. “And you know, if a lasagna is going to help my case, I am not above using it.”

Niall gave him a small smile. “Look, Harry, I’m angry. I don’t understand why you felt like you couldn’t trust me with this. I asked you if you liked Zayn and you lied! We’ve been friends for years; I never thought you would act like this. It makes me wonder if I know you at all.”

Harry sighed nervously; his hands wandered through his hair like did whenever feeling lost. “Niall, I’m really sorry. This thing with Zayn is so complicated, but I don’t want it to get between us. I didn’t even knew I liked him then, you know? This is all so sudden to me.”

Niall eyed him with a bit of comprehension for the first time in a while. “What’s going on between you two?”

Harry was silently for a while. He thought of things to say, but dismissed them. Talking about Zayn was so hard and he didn’t even know why. He just didn’t want to share it, whatever it was that they had, with other people. He took his time to sit down on the computer chair in next to Niall’s bed.

“I think we are dating. Like, it’s hard to explain, but we hang out a lot and I enjoy being around him. I really, really do.”

“Is this like an open relationship kind of thing?”

“No! Of course not.” Harry was quick to answer. “At least, I don’t think so.”

“You’ve never talked about it?” Niall wandered in shock.

“I guess we never felt like we needed to. We just spent a lot of time together, you know? After classes, on the weekends. I don’t think Zayn would even have availability to be with other people. The way I feel around him, the way he looks at me… I know that we’re in this together.”

The look on Harry’s eyes told Niall all he wanted to know. “You really like this guy, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Why do you hide your relationship?”

That was the question Harry was hoping to avoid.

“Because people would react so badly, Niall. Zayn and me together is not the kind of thing that happens in this world and everybody at school would just throw shade at it until we broke up. I don’t want anyone to ruin this. I’m happy. I’m so damn happy and I have never thought I would feel this way about anyone in my life. I know it’s silly that I thought that, but I did and until Zayn I just felt so numb… He make me feel so aware of everything, I can’t even begin to explain this… I don’t want to lose him or what we have, Niall. I can’t. I can’t go back to not knowing him. When you found out and had that reaction, we fought! Imagine how it would be if the rest of the world did? I don’t think we could handle that pressure.”

Harry took a deep breath.

“This is hard. But I need to ask you, Harry, is that the only reason? Could Zayn be hiding you because he is ashamed?”

“What kind of question is that? He’s not fucking hiding me!” Harry lashed out.

“Calm down, I’m just trying to understand!”

“I just told you why we’re not telling people, there’s no more for you to understand,” He spoke back defensively.

“Harry, despite this, you are my friend and all I want is your happiness. This is why I’m asking again, is that the only reason?”

The green-eyed boy looked unsure, his lower lip quivering and his hands shaking. He couldn’t seem to look at Niall. “I don’t know.” The answer came in a whisper.

+

“That son of a bitch!” Niall spat.

“Don’t talk about him like that,” Harry said in a sad voice.

“Hazza, I don’t ever want you to feel like you are not good enough. If he’s doing that to you, then he’s a prick that needs to be gone!”

“He doesn’t make me feel like that, Niall. Zayn is wonderful to me, he’s kind and understanding, whenever we are together, I feel like I can do anything. That’s so rare for me. I just love being around him.”

“Do you love him?” Niall wondered quietly.

“I…” Harry looked down.

“You do.”

“I never thought about it, Niall.” He retorted.

“But you do.” Niall stated knowingly.

“I’m trying to enjoy each moment as they come. Love is just too big of a word right now.”

“Okay. So, how are you guys now after the fight?”

“It was weird for a while, but we talked it out.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Harry nodded. “How is he like, Haz?”

The smile that popped in Harry’s face was one Niall had never seen before. “He’s brilliant. There’s just so much that he doesn’t show to people, like, he can play the piano so beautifully Niall… And he’s really good with kids, It’s adorable. He’s sensitive, funny in this witty way that I love and he has these weird quirks about him that are lovely. I feel like there’s a lot he hides from the world, scared of being judged or disliked. Like he needs people’s approval at the same time he wants to seem like he doesn’t care. But he does, so much and I can feel it. Zayn is complicated, but that’s what I also love about him. Every second we spend together is the greatest, you know? I’m happy just to be able to share things with him, laugh with him, care for him. All of these feelings just fill me up in a way anything ever did before.”

Niall was in awe, it was like witnessing a whole new Harry unrevealing before his eyes. “You are in love.” He declared with a soft smile.

Harry sighed. “I am.”

+

“Babe, do you want help with that?” Zayn asked from the living room.

Harry was in the kitchen of the Malik’s manor cooking them dinner. “No, you are terrible in the kitchen Z!”

They both laughed remembering the last time Zayn was in the kitchen. Harry ended up with a burnt omelet and a terrified Zayn carrying an extinguisher to stop the fire.

“Someday I’m going to get really good at it.” Zayn replied while fixing the table for the meal.

“Will I be alive then?”

“You are really cute, Harry… Really funny.” He spoke back sarcastically. Harry laughed.

“I love you, too, babe.”

Zayn’s eyes popped slightly in shock. “Who said anything about love, Mr. Styles?”

In that moment Harry was so glad that they were in different rooms, so Zayn couldn’t see him blush. He meant it as joke, but what if Zayn got that it was the truth? What if he knew that Harry was indeed speaking what he really felt?

“I don’t know.” Harry replied. Maybe he could act like he didn’t say anything.

Harry was so caught up in his fear, that he missed Zayn coming into the kitchen. It wasn’t until the older boy’s arms were wrapped around his middle that he noticed.

“Zayn, you can’t sneak up on me while I’m cooking! It’s dangerous!” Harry complained while enjoying the feeling of his boyfriend nuzzling into his neck.

“I love you.” Zayn whispered softly into his ear.

The grin that appeared in Harry’s face was probably the happiest he has ever given.

“You do?”

Zayn nodded. “Yes, Mr. Styles, I do.”

“Good.” The younger boy softly replied. “I love you too.”

Harry would never forget that moment. The lavender scent coming off Zayn’s skin, the feeling of his fingers squeezing into his waist and the rush in his heart.

He would never forget thinking: _I want this to last forever._

+

It was nine am on Sunday morning and Harry’s phone rang incessantly. He turned around in the bed, his hand palming the nightstand looking for the mobile.

“Hello,” He grunted.

“Haz, it’s Niall. Can you go on Facebook right now?”

“Niall, it’s early in the morning. Why the fuck would I look on Facebook now? Are you dating someone, because you can just tell me over the phone, I don’t need to check your status…” Harry rambled annoyed.

“It’s nothing like that, Haz.” And the way Niall’s voice sounded, so sad and careful, made alarms ring in Harry’s head.

He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and asked, “What’s going on?

“There was a party last night at Louis’s house, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Did Zayn go?”

“Yes. Why? Did something happen to him?” Harry asked desperately.

“No, he… I really think you should go on Facebook and check the party’s event.”

Harry huffed. “Just fucking tell me what it is Niall!”

“There’s a picture of Zayn kissing Perrie there. I don’t know if it’s real, I mean someone could have edited it or it could be an old one and they just posted it to rile people up. I just thought you should know.”

The feeling in Harry’s heart was unprecedented. The fear in his stomach was so strong; it felt like it could knock him out.

“Harry, are you there?”

“I need to hang up right now, Niall.”

Before Niall could say anything else, Harry ended the call. He breathed deeply for a second and then two, hoping to stabilize himself. He hadn’t seen the photo yet; maybe it was nothing like Niall said.

He got out of bed and went to take a long shower. He took his time brushing his teeth and then dressed slowly, anything to drag the time. It was like the Schrodinger’s cat experience, if Harry didn’t look it up then it wasn’t true or false. After, Harry could never go back to this moment of not knowing, so he would rather make it last a bit.

When Harry sat in front of his computer, his stomach sank inside of him. The fear was crippling, but he didn’t want to believe Zayn would do this to him, not his Zayn. A week ago he told Harry he loved him. You can’t just do that and then betray the person you claimed to love, right? You just can’t.

He opened his Facebook and then looked at the event’s page, nervousness making his fingers tremble at every click. The photo was the second thing that appeared after he rolled the bar, it was under the caption: LOOK WHO’S BACK TOGETHER!!!

It was Zayn wearing a black button down (the one he said he would use) kissing a pink haired (the color of the week) Perrie Edwards. It was a recent picture and the angles fit, it didn’t seem like a manipulation. It was real.

The world seemed to become dead silent then. So silent that Harry could hear his own heart breaking slowly, each piece getting lost forever in space and time. A numb feeling took over Harry, followed by a sharp tug of pain in the core of his being.

_So that is what coming undone feels like._

+

He never cried so much in his life before. There were obviously times where he felt desperate or sad before, times where he cried himself to sleep, but nothing remotely like this. Nothing like this pain rooted inside of his marrow, making him desperate for a relief that would not come. Whenever he closed his eyes, the picture showed up before them, making the pain even more real, if it was possible. Soon he started to question everything, every single thing between him and Zayn. Did any of that mean anything to him? Did he lie about his feelings? Were all of those moments between them a lie? But they felt so real.

Harry was lost. He looked at the photos of them in his phone, Zayn kissing him on the cheek, hugging him from behind and he couldn’t understand. Why was this happening? What did he do? Was all of this a mean joke of the universe?

He wanted to stop existing. He wanted the all those paralyzing feelings to stop assaulting him. He wished to go back in time where he was still asleep, unaware of all this pain that strangled him.

Niall called a couple times, but Harry just sent him a text asking for some time to himself. His mom came to ask if he was okay, he dismissed her. Zayn was dead silent, though. Not a word from him as the day passed. It drove Harry insane.

What did this all mean? Was it all over? Come Monday would he act as if Harry didn’t exist?

All this doubt was exhausting. Two am came and Harry was restless in his bed, still crying and fighting the urge to scream at the world. After another hour passed, he quietly slipped into his mom’s suite bathroom and stole one of her sleeping pills.

When the medicine kicked him, he welcomed the numbness.

+

Monday he didn’t go to school. Niall called him several times and so did Zayn. At the first time his (ex?) boyfriend’s name popped into his mobile’s screen, Harry gasped. Half of him really wanted to answer, but other half (the sane one) made him turn off his phone. Talking to Zayn would only make things worse. What was there to say, anyway? Harry was scared that the mere sight of Zayn would make him burst in tears.

Harry spent the whole day in bed, claimed to his mom that he had the worst headache (it wasn’t a lie) and just lied there. The hours seemed to pass slowly in a twisted way. Sometimes his thoughts made such strange turns in his head that he seemed to lose track of reality. Unwanted memories flooded his mind, making the burning hole in his stomach take his breath away.

Was this how love was supposed to go? Strong until a point of ruin? He didn’t sign up for this. He didn’t want any of this: that stupid ride on the first day, or that fucking kiss in that gym class and all the moments that followed. He didn’t want to feel so hollow now, like a burglar invaded his guts and emptied them. He did not want a broken heart.

_My heart is broken. I have a broken heart._

That was a weird thought; he would have to grow used to them. Harry repeated those words in his mind until they stopped making sense like everything else.

Sleeping that night was due to exhaustion from weeping.

+

The rest of the week was pretty much same; sleeping, crying, hating and remembering everything, shutting his mom and Niall out, and last, but not least, ignoring Zayn’s calls.

Friday night he was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling intently while trying not to remember Zayn. It wasn’t working out as he expected.

His mom knocked on his door for the third time that day.

“Go away.”

“Harry, there’s someone here to see you,” She replied, her voice soft.

“I don’t want to see anyone.” He heard some whispers before someone opened the door. It was Zayn. “What the fuck are you doing here?” The rage that came over him was unexpected, but Harry greeted it.

Harry’s mom looked uncertain at both of them before leaving.

Zayn stood there, inside of his room, looking at everything but him. It occurred to Harry that it was he’s first time there, but that didn’t matter.

“I asked you a fucking question, answer me.”

“I’m sorry, Haz. I came to apologize, I don’t know what you heard but I can explain.” Zayn said, his face distorted in anguish.

“I didn’t hear anything Zayn, I fucking saw the picture!”

Zayn went livid then. “Harry, I didn’t kiss Perrie! I’m love with you!” He claimed as he walked to the bed.

“Stay away from me.” Harry yelled. “Are you saying that the photo was fake? It didn’t look fucking fake to me, Zayn.”

Zayn looked helpless standing there, not knowing what to do, desperate to touch Harry, to make him understand. “I’m saying that she kissed me. I pushed her, Harry. For fuck’s sake, I have no feelings for Perrie. She was drunk and delusional, believe me, there’s nothing between us.”

Harry laughed in this dark twisted way that scared Zayn. “You know what, us being together never made sense. You are clearly way too good for me, the schools' golden boy; we couldn’t really stay like this, could we? In what world do guys like Zayn Malik end up with guys like me? I can’t believe I thought this would go any other way. I’m so fucking stupid.”

Zayn ran towards him then, regardless of Harry’s cry. He pulled Harry into his arms and held him tight. At first, he pushed him trying to get away, but then succumbed.

“Harry, we belong together. I’m not going to leave you because of this stupid shit. I don’t care who everybody else thinks I should be with. I want to be with you.”

Harry sobbed into his shirt. “Why did you kiss her?” He asked his voice muffled.

“I didn’t Harry, I swear on my life. On us. I did not kiss her. I left after that.”

“I just… It just hurts so much, Zayn. I don’t know what to think.” Harry said and Zayn pulled him closer.

“I love you, please believe me. Please, please, please believe me.”

Harry shook his head slightly. “Nothing makes sense Zayn.”

In that moment Zayn disentangled Harry from him so he could look into his eyes. When green orbs met hazel ones, he said, “Harry, we make sense together.” He took the younger boy’s hand into his own and intertwined their fingers. “This makes sense.”

“I…” Harry sighed. Being able to touch Zayn was a true gift, it made him feel safe and real again.

“Harry, I only feel complete when we are together. I can’t be with anyone else. I only think about you, I just want to be with you all the time. Whenever something happens to me, you are the first person I want to talk to. I love you. I fucking love you and no one can change this. You have got to believe me.”

Zayn kissed him, a soft, pleading kiss that seemed to fill every hole inside of Harry’s heart, to patch all the broken pieces inside of him.

“I believe you.” He mumbled after they broke off the kiss.

“Good.” Zayn whispered, kissing his forehead.

+

Harry woke up with an arm thrown over his waist and legs tangled with his own. He opened his eyes as he recognized Zayn’s deep breathing. Moments of last night flashed his mind, the kiss, the lovemaking and everything Zayn said. It felt good to finally clear things up, but he still felt slightly weird.

“Good morning,” Zayn mumbled suddenly into his hear.

“Hi,” Harry spoke back quietly.

“Do you think your mom is going to be mad that I slept here? I mean, I’ve never came here before,” He asked anxiously with nuzzling into Harry’s neck.

“It’s okay, Gemma used to bring her boyfriends to sleep here all the time. Mom is pretty liberal.”

“I’m really ashamed,” Zayn admitted.

“Really? I love ashamed Zayn, he’s my favorite.” Harry said with a joking smile.

The laugh that escaped Zayn was full of joy and made Harry feel warm inside. “You are an idiot.”

“I’m your idiot,” Harry replied quietly.

“That you are,” He agreed with a smile.

“Always?”

“For as long as you want me,” Zayn stated while squeezing Harry’s middle gently.

“Then always.”

+

“Good morning boys,” Anne Styles said with a smile.

“G’morning, mom,” Harry said as he came into the kitchen with Zayn in tow.

“Good morning, Miss. Styles.”

“I made breakfast,” She said, gesturing to the table. There was a pile of pancakes on a platter along with freshly baked waffles, orange juice, coffee and fruit salad. Zayn eyed all of that with a shy excited smile.

They sat down and soon started eating. Zayn hummed in delight through his first bite of waffles making Harry smile. They looked lovingly into each other eyes.

Harry’s mother hummed then, calling their attention. “So, Zayn, are you dating my Harry?”

Harry blushed intensely then. “Mom!”

Zayn grinned. “Yes, madam, I am.”

Anne laughed. “You don’t need to call me madam. But you do need to tell me what your intentions with my Harry are.”

“Mom, oh my God!” Harry exclaimed in exasperation. He wanted the ground to swallow him.

“It’s okay, Haz. My intentions are to make him as happy as I possibly can.”

The glow in her eyes let Zayn know that he answered correctly. The smile on Harry’s face made him feel complete.

“I love you,” The younger boy mouthed. Zayn took Harry’s free hand into his own.

Harry’s mom watched them with a smile. “You boys make an adorable couple!”

“Mom, will you stop embarrassing me?” He complained just like a kid.

“Never, that’s what I’m here for. Now, I have to go run some errands. You can wash the dishes, right?”

“Yes, now, please go before I die of shame.” Harry pleaded.

She chuckled in response. “Zayn dear, will you walk me to the door?”

Zayn exchanged a look of confusion with Harry.

“Mom, I don’t understand.”

“I just want a bit of Zayn’s time, darling. He’ll be back in a second.”

Harry nodded still unsure.

Anne got up from the table and so did Zayn. They walked side by side and he waited as she got her purse to leave.

When they reached the door, she turned to Zayn with a dead serious look on her face and said, “You and Harry seem to be very much in love and I support that. But if you ever make him suffer like he did this week, you will deal with me. Do you understand?”

Zayn agreed scared, the look on Anne’s face was menacing.

“Okay then, bye darling.” Then her nice smile was back, just like that. Zayn shivered.

What a mother-in-law he got himself.

+

Harry watched Zayn do the dishes by himself (he insisted on doing them), his mind wandered if he did the right thing by choosing to believe him. Of course he was happy to be with Zayn and there wasn’t much doubt in his mind that his boyfriend was telling the truth. Still, a part of him was simply unsure.

“I can hear you thinking, Harry,” Zayn joked while drying the last plate.

“Can you?” He asked with a light tone, trying to hide his insecurity.

“Yes. You seem concerned.”

“Well, I’m not.” Harry looked anywhere but him.

“You don’t need to lie to me, Haz.” Zayn dried his hands and then walked over to Harry. He rested his fingers on the younger boy’s chin, making him look up. “I know that ever since we started this, I haven’t made you feel really safe, but I want to change that. I’m in love with you and the rest of the world needs to know.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, startled, he couldn’t believe his ears.

“Monday, I’m going to pick you and we’ll go to school together,” Zayn declared before pecking Harry’s lips.

“I love you,” Harry told him with his eyes closed.

“I love you, too.”

+

The weekend passed fast. Monday morning Harry woke up with a knot in his stomach, scared of what would come. Of course the idea of coming out as a couple was exciting in his head before, but now that it was close to coming real, he was truly scared.

He tried to make himself calm down, but his hands were sweating profusely and when Zayn’s honk made itself heard, his heart took a leap. Harry knew he needed to be brave, that things were finally going to fall into to place, and he just needed to this. But God, it was hard.

When he got into the car, Zayn greeted him with a kiss. ‘From Eden’ by Hazier blasted from the speakers and Harry smiled, it was his favorite song at the moment and Zayn knew it. He must have put it on purpose.

The whole ride to the school they sung together and Harry felt himself relax.

As soon as Zayn parked, his nerves peaked again. He froze on his seat as Zayn got out of the car, walking around to open Harry’s door. When he did, Harry looked down at him, still feeling insecure.

“Babe, take a deep breath okay?” Zayn coached as he took sweaty Harry’s into his own. “Everything is going to be fine. We’re in this together.”

“I know, I just… Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

“Harry, don’t be silly. I love you, there’s no reason to hide this.” He countered, then, for good measure, he kissed him.

Harry smiled into the kiss.

“Are we good to go?” Zayn asked after they broke it off.

“Yes.”

Zayn helped him out of the Range Rover and they walked through the parking lot together, hands intertwined. People around him stared in shock, some whispered, but Harry took deep breaths while Zayn mumbled reassuring things into his ear.

Of course, when they finally got into the school, the worst was yet to come. Louis Tomlinson walked over them with an enraged look on his face, making Zayn and Harry stop dead on their track.

“So you were serious, then? Are you really dating this piece of shit?” He asked viciously.

“Louis, tone it down, okay? Harry’s my boyfriend, show some respect,” Zayn demanded in a dangerously lethal tone Harry had never heard before.

“Boyfriend? Are you really calling this idiot your boyfriend?” Louis sounded like a jealous ex-girlfriend, and Harry eyed him wearily.

“Louis, you better apologize to my boyfriend if you don’t want to beat the living shit out of you.”

There was a crowd starting to gather around them, people watching their exchange curiously.

“Zayn, calm down,” Harry asked, softly.

“Yeah Zayn, listen to your bitch. Calm down.”

Harry knew then that there was no way he could hold Zayn back as his boyfriend punched Louis full on the mouth, and then jumped at him, attacking everywhere.

“Zayn!” Harry yelled, trying to pull him away from Louis.

Thankfully two boys came to help him, when they finally parted the fighting boys, he recognized Niall and Liam.

“You two need to calm the fuck down,” Liam demanded.

“Apologize to Harry!” Zayn yelled enraged.

“Never!” Louis said and then he tried to spit on Harry.

“Niall and Harry, fucking let me go! I’m going to kill him!”

Before he could break away from the boys, the principal showed up. “Bloody hell, what is going on here?” All five of them fell in silence and the crowd dispersed, afraid. “So, are you all going to just look at me? A moment ago you were all so loud!”

Oh God.

+

Zayn and Louis got a two-week suspension while Harry was dismissed for the rest of the day. Niall and Liam walked out in the clear, given that they didn’t do anything but try to help.

“You shouldn’t have punched Louis,” Harry stated as he drove them away from school. Zayn had a cut near his eye that was blurring his vision a bit.

“He was insulting you,” Zayn replied, outraged.

“I know, but violence is never the answer.”

Zayn rolled his eyes dismissively. “Louis had it coming, Haz.”

“Zayn, you were friends for a long time. Eventually you’ll have to find it in yourself to forgive him.”

“I don’t have to do anything.” He retorted annoyed.

Harry sighed. “I know you don’t.”

“I don’t get why you’re even defending that asshole.”

“I’m not defending him, Z. I just know that despite his stupidity, Louis means a lot to you. I know part of you is just mad because he’s your best friend and you wanted him to understand.”

“Bloody hell I did! But Louis is a fucking jerk, Haz. He won’t ever accept us.”

“Just give him some time, okay?” Harry asked. He put his hand on Zayn’s knee and squeezed it lightly.

“I love you very much, you know?”

“I do, Haz.”

Zayn grinned.

+

The weeks that followed were amazing; Zayn and Harry spent every available moment together. On one particular Saturday morning, they were on a distant beach Zayn took them to.

They lied side by side under the sunlight, their hands intertwined and their eyes closed.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be as happy as I am right now.” Harry whispered.

“Just wait, there’s just so much for us to do yet, Haz,” Zayn replied with a hopeful smile.

“I’m just glad this worked out for the best.”

Perrie came to Harry and told him that she had kissed Zayn. Louis was starting to be less hateful (not much, but it was a start) and people were beginning to stop giving them those disgusted/annoyed looks. Also, and it was one of the things that were making Harry the happiest, Zayn and Niall were starting to get along.

“Me too.”

“You know, if anyone told me that we would get together, I would never believe them,” Harry commented.

“I would,” Zayn retorted.

“You would?” Harry wandered, startled.

“Harry, from the first minute I saw you, I knew there was something different about you. I guess for me, there was just never another way, you know? Eventually we would get together. You just had this way of attracting me. It was magnetic.”

“You always acted so indifferent; I thought you didn’t see me.” He mumbled shaky.

_“I saw you, Harry and I see you now.”_

That was all he wanted. All that mattered.


End file.
